Words my mother told me

Called my mother the other day. She lives in Boston, with my father. I won't tell ya how the conversation went, but let me tell ya this: when my mother hung up the phone, the sound of the dead line was more alive to me than our entire conversation. Jeez.

Ya see, my parents know I live on the streets and all and that is not a part of how they look at life in general. They, when raising me and my sister Kathy (who also lives in Boston) expected life to become a collection of christmas trees, sunday morning breakfasts, ball games, high school sweethearts, college graduations, pink grandchildren, beverages in the park and a little of that old booze at the open fire. Needless to say, life took another turn.

So now, when I call my parents to simply hear how they are doing, I count myself lucky when my mother picks up the phone. You see, when sweet old dad picks up and hears my name on the other side he just hangs up. Like that.

I talked to Kathy 'bout that once and can you believe she was actually fucking moved by that? She told me that our father was just some old cuddly teddybear, unable to cope with his emotions by the sound of his only son's voice and therefore hangs up the phone. Ya understand? Man, I told Kathy what I thought of that and that was the end of Kathy and me. Guess she didn't think of me as some cuddly kinda guy. But I mean, c'mon, a father that witnesses his son's life goin' down the drain without ever reaching out to him and then refuses to talk to him on the phone is not a father struggling with his emotions. It's a stone cold coward and that's it.

Anyway, my mother always sounds like a trapped, little bird when talkin' to me. Probably expects me to ask for a big, sweaty wad of money or something. Sorry mum, that'll never happen. So relax. But she's unable to. I always feel some kind of relief when we end our conversation. And I know the relief is mutual and all. But I have to talk to her ev'ry once in a while just to find out how they are doin' and all. Don't know why. Maybe it's best not to know.

Like my mother always said when I grew up, when times were still innocent and comforting, when I did talk to my dad and my dad listened, she used to say 'there is no use in worrying a lot today because tomorrow is a new and different day'. Strange thing to remember.